No happy medium

Last night, our youngest received a MVP award for volleyball during her high school athletic banquet. I thought she might get it -- yeah, I'm prejudiced but she was the most valuable player. Carrie was surprised, but honestly, at this point, the award hardly mattered. It's very difficult to chat with people while your heart is breaking and I felt really stupid because one of the women I was talking to knew about Butler (her daughter and mine are good friends) -- and I was telling her how hard it was -- forgetting that this woman unexpectedly lost her husband a few months back. Anyway, I don't want to spend my time weeping and bringing others down but neither am I able to pretend that everything is okay -- there's no happy medium. By the time I got home last night, I was in tears and Butler looked at me as if to say, "what's all this over a silly dog?"