Am I Blue?

Well, no, not any more than usual, but it is the name of my new story which I'm posting on my forum in the Current Fiction section. I'm always torn when I start something new because I think: is this something I might want to try to get published -- or is this just a free-for-all? The truth is, sometimes I don't really know until I've finished the thing. So, for now, Blue is open for reading, as are a few other things which are not in my hope-to-be-published queue.

I admit I've done very little toward getting published. I've sent off a few query letters and my complete manuscript (Mr. Parrish -- a vampire novel) was requested by one publisher but nothing came of it (I'll write about that one day -- it's a much longer story than these few words would indicate). Sometimes I think being published isn't in the cards for me -- and I'm not sure I have the fire inside me to really work toward that elusive goal.

I've been writing non-stop for about five years now -- have cranked out various novels in various genres and have enjoyed myself tremendously in doing so (and I hope they've been enjoyed by those who've read them). But, last year, after my daughter's wedding (and trying to finish a story -- which I finally had to give up on until after the wedding), dealing with some depression issues and suffering the loss of a beloved dog, I knew I needed a good, long break. Which I have now taken. It took me awhile to figure out which story I wanted to tell and, for whatever reason, Blue is it.

I've learned so much in my writing endeavors -- especially the (bad) habits I've needed to break. Some I have broken -- and, when I go back and read my earlier work, I can really see the difference. I'm not saying I'm a great writer -- just that I'm a better writer than I use to be. And maybe that's all I can ask.

There are so many people out there who want to write and I think that's the key. You have to want to do it and enjoy it. Lord, I can't even imagine having to be published for a living. I believe my muse would walk right out the door and never look back if I had to look at writing that way. I'm fortunate that I don't have to and can just write on a whim, though I'm well aware that if a manuscript is accepted, you do have to answer to someone, somewhere. But right now, I'm only answerable to me. And I'm a pretty easy boss.