Listen

I've never been a romantic -- candlelight dinners and sweet nothings just don't do it for me and never did. Most of the things I find romantic probably wouldn't pass muster with most people -- for example, for me, Dracula (1992, with Gary Oldman as Drac) is one of the most romantic films of all time. It's hard for me to explain why -- beyond my fascination for vampires in general -- but the words Dracula utters to Mina, "I have crossed oceans of time to find you," pretty much says it all. Who wouldn't love a guy like that, fangs and all?!

There's still a little snow on the ground here but the temps are in the low 50s so I don't think it'll remain much longer. It's amazing how bright everything looks when reflected off of snow. I'm glad we got a little of it -- I doubt if there'll be any more for us this year -- but you never know. If there is, we'll deal with it like we always do -- everything will shut down and we'll all get a little loopy. At any rate, if there had been snow today and we had nothing to do but sit by the fire, I probably would've found that romantic.

Perhaps what is truly romantic is whatever is different from a day to day life. That could be, for some, getting flowers and candy but, for others, might be just having your significant other do a load of laundry (and put the clothes up) or empty the dishwasher (and put the dishes up). Nothing really says I love you more than doing something which you don't necessarily want to do but you do it anyway because you know it would make someone happy.

Sometimes I think we spend way too much time in a frenzy of gift-giving that we forget to really figure out what makes a person feel the most loved.

Maybe sometimes, we just need to ask.

And then we need to listen to the answer.

Personally, I'm going to try to do better on that account -- not just on Valentine's Day but every day.

Maybe, here and there, I'll get it just right.

Happy Birthday!!

For those who've been reading this blog, you know I turned the big 5-0 last August. Now it's my husband's turn. He always jokes about how we were born in different decades -- though I'm only four months older than he is.

We'd hoped to go on little trip this weekend -- he took yesterday and Monday off -- but it turned out there's a volleyball tournament so off we go.

I feel bad because I haven't done a thing for him. Nothing. He's too hard to buy presents for -- he mentioned a new leather coat but I figured it would be better if he actually tried one on and found a style he liked. But, so far, I haven't been able to get him to even go look. I suppose I should have just bought one and then we could have taken it back. But, Christmas, 2008, I got him a jacket which didn't fit -- he was supposed to go with me to pick out a replacement but he never did -- and I never even took the thing back for a refund. Oh, well, the high school auction got something nice -- and I think it went for me than I paid for it.

He said he doesn't feel any different today than he did yesterday. I know the feeling.

Twenty-eight years later...

Mark and I have been married 28 years today. That's a helluva long time, if you ask me. I don't have any secret to a long happy marriage -- other than to say that while love may have come first, trust is actually more important. And he makes me laugh which has kept me from committing first-degree murder on several occasions. I'm sure he'd say the same for me. Quite frankly, we are comfortable -- a word which might strike fear into those who think that marriage has to be exciting or it's not worth it. I think craving -- and not getting -- excitement -- and just a plain lack of commitment -- is what causes so many divorces nowadays. But what do I know? At any rate, I have no desire to be on the market. I'll keep what I have -- because it just doesn't get any better.

Fine-tuned

I've been married almost 28 years. It hasn't all been roses and sunshine but we took each other for better or worse and we meant it then and we mean it now. I don't have a big secret to a long, happy marriage other than we trust each other -- which is probably more important, in the long run, than love -- and we tell each other how we feel and we laugh all the time.

We had a good laugh tonight. We took a walk and passed by a house where they were obviously getting ready to cut down a few trees. A logging truck was parked on the street as was a stump grinder. Mark oohed and ahhed over the stump grinder. Yes, a stump grinder. You see, he may be a physician and earn his living with brains rather than brawn but, in his heart, he's a big kid who thinks big machinery is fascinating (right along with the Cartoon Network).

I told him that I bet he'd like to own a stump grinder and, of course, he said yes, he would. Now, realize that this particular grinder was the size of a small car -- and, not in a million years would he ever own one or even use one (well, maybe once or twice). But, if we were living in the realm of the ridiculous, he would probably have one -- and it would be parked right next to the ditch witch.

So, I asked him, okay, then, what is it that I would like to have -- something out-of-the-ordinary, something not normal, something absurd?

He thought a minute then said, "An elephant."

Man, does he know me or what?!